Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 15, Episode 9
The following is a guide to Scenes We'd Like To See suggestions made in Series 15, Episode 9. Key JA- James Acaster HD- Hugh Dennis GD- Gary Delaney RB- Rob Beckett SP- Sara Pascoe EJ- Elis James Topics Things You'd Never Read In The Bible HD- Eve took the apple. "Bollocks," she said. "It hasn't got a headphone jack." JA- And it had all been a dream! SP- In the beginning, there was the Word. And the Word was good, but it wasn't compatible with Macs. GD- And after the Last Supper came the last argument over who had a starter. RB- Aw, I knew it should have been you with a name like bloody Judas! EJ- And so it rained for forty days and forty nights, and Noah said "Next year, we holiday abroad!" HD- "I have five loaves and two fishes," he said. "Who wants cod in breadcrumb?" JA- Jesus handed out cans of Dr. Pepper and said "Drink this in remembrance of me. That's right, my full name is Doctor Jesus Pepper." GD- People who enjoyed this book also read the Quran and the Torah. HD- There was stress in the Garden of Eden. Adam wanted to leave, but Eve had voted "Remain". RB- This book has been rated 18 due to graphic violence, moderate threat, and homophobia. HD- God is love. The devil is forty. Match point. JA- And most importantly of all, thou shalt not board the train until other people have alighted the train. SP- When Jesus saw all of the tables outside of the church, he went mental and starting smashing everything up because he hated fetes and had lost all of his money on the "guess the weight of the cake" competition. HD- There is but one commandment greater then these: Secure the talent before you buy the Bake Off. RB- Thou shalt not steal, unless from the self-service checkout. We all do it. Birthday cards, no way, is there? EJ- Uh, no, my mom couldn't have done that 'cause she's a virgin. JA- The animals came in two by two for 'twas Orange Wednesday. Lines You Wouldn't Hear In A James Bond Film RB- Sorry, mate, this is 'Spoons, we don't do martinis. You want a jug of Woowoo? JA- We've invented you a new phone, Bond. It's exactly the same as your old phone, but you need to buy a new charger. HD- They've got the latest news on Thunderball, 007: No one won last week and it's a rollover. GD- Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome to this mandatory course on sexual harassment in the workplace. EJ- Hi, uh, the name's Bond. It's not actually Double-O-7, they're zeroes, otherwise I'd be called "Ooh, 7!" SP- (Russian accent) Ooh, Bond, I'm very flattered by your advance, but you are complete stranger, you work for my enemy, and I am menstruating very heavily. RB- Bond, meet your children, Double-O-5, Double-O-3, and Double-O-18-Months. HD- You want my full name? Of course. It's Bond. James Skipton Building Society Fixed Rate One Year Bond. JA- Another gadget, Bond. This is a way of distracting your opponents: Some light-up trainers for no reason. GD- (miming petting something) Mr. Bond, I have one question for you: Does this testicle look swollen? EJ- "So, uh, Mr. Bond, welcome back. How was Russia, how do you feel?" "Do you know what? Rested." SP- Mr. Bond, we just want to check that you understand how to use the new equipment. You know you can swipe left, don't you? HD- Blofelt? No, I've never even met Felt. GD- This is the easiest fight on top of a train I've ever had! Thank you, Southern Rail! JA- Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have got a girlfriend, no thank you! Category:Scenes We'd Like To See